The Race
We live in perpetual motion. Time flows by itself, without effort on our behalf and we must always adapt to new situations. New needs arise. Elements move, all by themselves, each with their own momentum and energy. We would love to stay ahead of them. It's not a win, it's a race.
Engaged in this race, we constantly face disturbing forces, opposing themselves to our comfort. One way or another. No matter what our social status, our wealth, our success, or the lack thereof, there is always a procedure going on, calling for attention to defend and maintain our comfort and balance.
It seems that life itself is in constant strive to throw man out of his comfort zone. Undoubtfully for his good. And surely with the intention to offer him a much more sustainable and solid well-being than his little temporary desires.
But to this day, most people on earth live in constant fear that their comfort, so hard-won, will cease to be available. Ouch!
The Suffering
Also, most people are marked for life by moments of suffering and difficulties. Each marked his own way, more or less obvious. I suppose everyone has already gone through passages that we would never want to go through again. This is at least the first conclusion.
There will certainly be other conclusions, later. More considered, with deeper understanding on the long-term benefits of our suffering. I am convinced that the universal healing of life is as real as its discipline. Although for the present moment, we do not see much of the long-term value.
It is a fact. Sufferings are present. Memories of them fill us with fears and anxieties. Maybe we don't want to admit it, or they're not the actuality, but whether conscious or not, we are all influenced by our past traumas. Birth itself being the first of them. Some people will never forget the suffering of their past. I am part of those.
Man, therefore, seeks for ways to escape from his sorrows. Even the small ones: work, finances, stress, family. Each in his own way finds more or less his own escapes.
Freedom
I play piano.
I play to stop the race for a while. Thus
I create a different micro-world than the real one.
My own reality. In my music, I talk about the real world and how I
experience it, but above all, I'm leaving it behind me!
I leave my temporairy material realities, to enter into another universe,
where the rules are different.
I don't forget the worries and the sorrows. My music is often influenced by those. But I manage to express and channel them, to get rid of them in some way, of my pitiful troubles. In this imaginary world, I am free and I do not suffer. I dance and sing. I speak freely, a different language, little understood by most people.
The challenge is to enter a state of freedom. You could call it a frequency.
Then we decide the rules. Truths and realities are created that way
and no one intervenes.
It's a world of ideas, with no restrictions to submit to,
except the ones we choose.
This is what I call "Spiritual freedom".
This is important to understand. From that state everything becomes possible. Every moment is a new opportunity. Even after the worst musical disaster, the music starts again, enthusiastic and fresh. As soon as we decide to. The desire to live and to succeed is inexhaustible. From one moment to the next, everything is possible and available again, just as in the beginning. We can always start again after a process has led to a so called failure. In music, just as in any other event in life.
At the end of any journey, often long time after, one realizes that the whole journey, with its enormous catastrophes and difficulties, was only a challenge, necessary and perfect in itself. Considering the present situation, the trip could not have been any easier.
To find happiness in all of that, we must accept the flow of life and not complain about it, nor wanting to change it. Life flows and its flow is perfect. A river always takes the easiest route. With all the obstacles, its passages, its waterfalls, its disasters. It keeps flowing and filling all the holes. Until they overflow. Yes, waterfalls generate fear and anxieties, but only when we don't know that we are immortal!
My music is a sharing of this spiritual freedom. I don't care about public approval, nor the opinions of those who don't like it. Everyone has that right, but I don't play for those who don't like it.
It is a sharing for those who want to discover and who can, more or less, identify with its speech.
The Judgment
With improvisation, there is no sense of what is right or wrong. Everything is pure and authentic, like a child drawing a picture. We like it or we don't. That's all. And that can change along the way. We are leaving the realm of judgments. Those who remain in that realm will suffer the limitations of their own opinions. This will prevent them from experiencing a new, stimulating or enriching adventure. Sad for them.
In freedom there is no judgment, only discovery.
We must therefore try to be in a state of emptiness, in order to be able to appreciate a musical moment. There are people who are naturally capable of doing so: being without judgment or expectation. For them, things are easy to understand.
For others, like myself, it is more difficult to relax and build a perceptive state. Or simply be humble. Only in a state, void of opinion, life can speak to us and take us on a journey. Without such, we end up being bored or seriously annoyed.
With the right disposition, the musical journey is unique and new, each single time. After a dozen of times, we become comfortable in a piece of music. I know what I am talking about. I listen to a piece at least fifteen times before publishing it. I need that time to get the hang of it. Then, we begin to anticipate and understand the moves. This is where we will experience pleasure and discovery of richness. The music becomes a spiritual dance.
I sincerely believe that very few people experience what I am talking about. Rather sad about it, I write this explanation, hoping to increase the pleasure of my audience. And thus also mine own.
The Practice
How to practice this ?
Forget for a moment where you are.
Forget for a moment what you think you are.
Forget for a moment, if you can, your past and your future.
Be just there! Life is here and now.
Let it speak to you, through the music.
Be empty of opinions and expectations.
It doesn't matter if we miss a piece.
We can simply start again, anytime. Nothing's easier.
When you do it right, life will speak to you. It will take you. Certainly it will give you a few pinches of its delight. And it will be worth it.
The Rules of the Game !
“This guy put honey with his pindakaas!” In the 80s, no Dutch person would have thought of doing such a thing. Toast with honey and pindakaas (Dutch peanutbutter), at breakfast. My dad, yes. No problem. For him, such were order of the day.
Stick to your principles and your boring future will be assured.
Fortunately, there are people crazy enough to go beyond any framework or structure.
They are the ones who make life interesting and innovative.
But yes, it's crazy and a little scary.
It has never been done, we don't know how it will be.
So we rather say 'no'.
We are not very comfortable with changes. We may lose our comfort.
Personally, disturbing established order doesn't bother me. It has even become pleasant and often my objective. Not to destroy, but to test.
Who is this arrogant guy, claiming to have the only truth, with all its absolute rights ? I don't mind disturbing him a bit !
But to do that properly, we need style and dignity. And respect for truthful matters. Too often, rebels are rather fools, with no understanding of the deeper values in life. Harmony is deep. Opposing selfish and proud people, no problem. But to opposing life .... ? Really not smart. It is infinitely stronger and more cunning than us, weirdos. We strongly risk losing our battle. Although she will remain loving and merciful with us.
Still, weirdos are weirdos. There are always two sides to a coin. For now, I identify with those outside the box.
My piano ? It is about life.
Life is in charge. Nothing else. Life is what expresses itself,
for the best and the worst.
In French, the word 'life' is a female word. We say 'her'.
To me, life is like a mother and a bride. She is royal queen.
It's up to her to do what she wants.
Sometimes she's capricious, sometimes classy,
sometimes she's a bit crazy or distracted.
Sometimes lost, because, yes, life gets lost also.
More often than we think. But she will always remain beautiful !
Life does what it wants. It's is sovereign.
I am only one of its temporary expressions.
And I'm happy with that. That's enough for me. With her, life,
I have all I need.
Sébastien Badel,
Alias Aman
Belledonne Rhone-Alpes France,
January 29, 2024.
Today is the post-birthday of my Dutch grandfather. A man of valor, who loved me when I was child. To him, I dedicate this text and its music.